Sick Of It

Being sick is awful. But being sick at college is even worse... I wish I could do a post entirely about being sick at college, but the whole thing would just look like this:

I don't actually own a "purple robe of majestic illness", but I would wear it everywhere if I did

So INSTEAD, I'm going to tell a little story about something that happened to me while I was sick...

There I was in my room, minding my own business, doing about as much as anyone can do when they're sick.

Not much

I don't consider myself an extremely lucky person. In fact, sometimes I feel like all of the worst things happen to me all at once just because the universe wants to watch me pitifully try to handle everything (and usually fail). ANYWAAAAYS, at that moment, I suddenly heard a noise that I had never heard before.

Those aren't censored curse words btw; it was an actual beeping sound

It was the loudest noise I had ever heard. It took me a few seconds to figure out that it was just the fire alarm. After several painstaking moments of wheezing and coughing, I managed to get down from my bed. But that's when I noticed something unusual...

Crying inside

My roommate was still asleep. I could not believe that he was sleeping through this blaring alarm. It was SOOOO LOUD. I was utterly dumbstruck.

I knew that I had to wake him up, but there's always that moment where you wonder, "Do I have to though?" Cautiously, I reached up and tapped his head.

Incredibly flexible

He didn't budge.

Wonder what he's dreamin' about...

Now I got nervous. I called his name out loud but he still didn't wake up. I started pacing around the room frantically, trying to figure out what to do. Then I started shaking his bed really hard in desperation.

But, again, I'm not very lucky...

Maybe he's having a dream within a dream? That would explain why he wouldn't wake up

Now I know everyone is going to hate me for what I did next, but remember that I was SICK, so I clearly wasn't in my right mind. Also, let me again emphasize how LOUD the alarm was. It's near impossible to make a good decision when it sounds like World War I outside.

OKAAAAAAAAY I'M SORRY ALREADY

Yes, I left him asleep in the room and went outside alone. But, if you ask me, he got the better end of the deal. While he was sleeping, nice and warm in his bed, I was outside freezing my butt off because it was the middle of the night and super windy outside.

The Old North Wind does not look kindly upon sick little college boys

So there I stood in the freezing cold, shivering and wheezing, while the alarm continued to blare inside. But the funniest part was that it was SO OBVIOUS that I had left my roommate in the room because our window is right next to the door. I could see him right there, asleep in his bed and clearly not outside freezing.

I think this is the first WPN comic to have actual grass in it!! #BreakingBarriers

After about five minutes, I started hearing sirens and then an actual fire truck pulled up. Then I got nervous because I realized it wasn't a fire drill and I was terrified that I just murdered my roommate on accident.

WANTED: For accidental murder (because he was sick and dumb)

Ten minutes later, the alarms turned off and they let us back in. It turns out that some idi-bro (a term I coined; "idiot bro", you heard it here first) on the second floor burned some popcorn or something dumb like that.

I admit I went a little overboard with the idi-bros, but I mean, they were asking for it

So that was the story of when all of the worst things happened to me at once. Ironically, an hour or so later, my roommate woke up all of the sudden and asked: