Awkward

Awkwardness is kind of like a contagious disease. As soon as people see you being awkward, they feel awkward too. Even the word "awkward" looks awkward. I had to look it up to make sure I was spelling it right before I started. Being an awkward person is a daily struggle, but in a way it is also a form of art. Sometimes being awkward is so bizarre that it is almost beautiful. Just kidding. It mostly just makes you look like a fool. For your amusement, and my utter embarrassment, I have compiled a list of five of the most awkward moments of my life....

5. Awkward Encounter at the Orthodontist

Premise: When I was in sixth grade, I had a crush on this one girl and I'm pretty sure she liked me back. But we both went off to high school and never really heard from each other for a while. Until one day...

I was at the orthodontist and brushing my teeth at the giant communal sink (which is a gross idea by the way).

That foam is pretty spot-on, if I must say so.

Then I realized that the girl I used to have a crush on was brushing her teeth right next to me.

She must have noticed me too because she looked over at me.

Here is where the dilemma started. My mouth was full of toothpaste, and I thought it would be rude to just spit. In hindsight, I probably should have just spit because that would have looked far better than what actually happened.

So many mistakes

A deluge of foamy spit erupted from my mouth. It was so embarrassing, that I melted into a puddle on the spot.

This is also what I look like when I get sick.

4. Awkward Interaction with a Girl in My Class

Premise: This happened in senior year of high school. First of all, at my high school they gave a "merit award" to two students (a boy and a girl) every month who exhibited good behavior or something. On that day, in second period they announced that I had won the merit award, along with a girl in my class. The next period I had a calculus test, and this is where the story begins...

I don't know why I gave his text such calligraphy-like font

At the end of second period, the girl who had won the merit award walked up to congratulate me for winning. But I was still fuming about the calculus test.

Probably watching too much Interstellar

3. Awkward Interaction with My Prom Date's Dad

Premise: Before I went to prom, I had to call my date's father so that he could make sure that I wasn't some dumb idiot (which is only fair, I suppose).

I abhor talking on the phone by the way

The conversation was going normally, until at one point when he asked...

Way Past Normal: Outer Space Edition

My favorite thing about this is that it implies that he is an alien?

2. Awkward Moment at the Dinner Table

Premise: First of all, let me just say that this is probably the most embarrassing moment of my entire life because it is honestly like the worst thing I've ever done. If you are a merciful person, you will spare my humiliation and stop reading here. The most important part of this story is that I hate peppers. They are probably my least favorite food. I see you kept reading. I am overcome with shame. My brother's girlfriend had invited her family to come over to our house for dinner. Please stop reading, I'm so embarrassed. Her family had brought some food of their own over to our house. YOU'RE BEING SO MEAN. I'm crying of shame. We were sitting at the dinner table, getting ready to eat. Well, it's too late now...

Preparing for a lifetime of shame

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M SO RUDE!!!!!! brb crying for the rest of my life

I hope you enjoyed that. So ashamed...

1. Awkward Anniversary for My Parents

Premise: My sister once said that one of the funniest concepts is the idea of someone trying to do something nice for someone else, but then just failing miserably. This story is basically exactly that. Hold on to your seats, because this one takes a lot of explaining.

First of all, in the movie Coraline, there is one scene where Coraline's dad plays a song for her on the piano. Around the time of this story, I was attempting to learn how to play the song on the piano (because I do things like that sometimes), and I found a useful video that played the song slowed-down so you could read all of the notes. Now, this story takes place on my parents' anniversary a couple years ago. My parents went out to dinner, and my twin sisters and I wanted to surprise them when they got home by jumping out and playing the anniversary song from the Flintstones because my parents liked that song.

I love how enthused they look

But somehow, the music got messed up and it started playing the slowed-down version of the song from Coraline instead. If you want to get the full effect, you can listen to it here, but warning: it is probably the most hilariously disturbing thing you will ever hear.

But the fact that everything was going so horribly wrong was so hilarious, that my sisters and I just started laughing hysterically. Then my parents walked in to hear this awful melody that sounds like Satan and the Grim Reaper collaborated to make the most vile-sounding mixtape of all time blasting at full volume, while the three of us were just rolling on the floor, laughing our heads off.

They were probably right, to be honest...

If you liked this post, feel free to check out my sister's post on her comic here. She did a similar idea, and it's hilarious so go check it out.